Are You A Friend Of God?
6 days ago
Synopsis: "Kung Fu Panda" features Jack Black as Po the Panda, a lowly waiter in a noodle restaurant, who is a kung fu fanatic but whose shape doesn't exactly lend itself to kung fu fighting. In fact, Po's defining characteristic appears to be that he is the laziest of all the animals in ancient China. That's a problem because powerful enemies are at the gates, and all hopes have been pinned on a prophesy naming Po as the "Chosen One" to save the day. A group of martial arts masters are going to need a black belt in patience if they are going to turn this slacker panda into a kung fu fighter before it's too late.
10 Things No One Tells You About Parenthood
Sleepless nights and changing toxic diapers are
child’s play—here’s the stuff you should really know.
By Craig Playstead
1) The way you view the world changes
When you bring someone into this world, things like global warming, war and women in beer ads have a whole new meaning. You start actually looking at the impact these things have, and what the world will become after you’re dead and gone. Leaving a better place for your kids and grandkids becomes more than just talk.
2) You’ll feel like a failure
There will be times when no matter how hard you try, your kids are never happy. You feel you’re telling them “no” too much, constantly harping on them to clean their room, or dashing their dreams of lowering their brother down the staircase on a rope. While they may complain they don’t have a Wii or that “so and so’s” mom let’s them see PG-13 movies, you need to stick to what you believe in and what you feel is best for your kids.
3) You have no time
This seems obvious, but you can’t believe just how little time you have. You start to measure things out in minutes and seconds. “If he watches Curious George for 20 more seconds, I can go to the bathroom,” or “If his nap lasts another 10 minutes, maybe I can get in a shower today.”
4) Not going to the bathroom by yourself
When your kids are babies, the bathroom is the only place you can get your head together. It’s also one of the only places you can actually read. I read ESPN’s Bill Simmons’ entire book over the course of the week in the bathroom when my youngest was a baby. And then he turned two. If he’s not forcing his way in to watch “how it’s really done” he’s banging on the door screaming “lemme in!” or sliding all his books underneath. There is no peace with toddlers.
5) Parenthood will turn you soft
This one hits the guys especially hard. You’ll find yourself tearing up at any dumb movie that has anything to do with parenthood, and if you have a daughter, don’t be surprised to find yourself playing “My Little Pony” before heading off to work. The icing on the cake is hawking Girl Scout cookies in front of your local grocery store annually.
6) They will embarrass you
This is a big shock, and you’re never ready for it. In your mind, they are perfect little angels; in reality, they’re little people trying to figure out their way in the world. Unfortunately, they say what they want—when they want. It can be something that’s funny like announcing to their pre-school class that Daddy farts all the time, or it can be humiliating like a temper tantrum in a grocery store or having them tell your parents to “get me a toy next time” after opening a gift containing pajamas. You’re prepared for the fact that you’ll embarrass them when they get to a certain age, but you’re never ready to be the one that’s humiliated.
This is the one that stings from the day your child is born until the day you die. From the start you worry that they’ll stop breathing in their crib, then you obsess about getting the damn car seat in correctly. They get a little older and you worry about them falling down the stairs or choking on a Polly Pocket. As the years go on you lose sleep about dating, not fitting in, or getting into a situation that they can’t handle. Then there are the worries that never go away: providing enough, paying for college or not teaching them the right things. The list goes on and on and on, and it takes a major toll on you. But you worry because you love.
8) You won’t be the parent you think
We all had visions of the kind of parents we would be to our kids. Now, as battle tested Moms and Dads, we’ve heard the prospective parents spouting off advice. Those hollow words of wisdom come even though they’ve never gotten up at three a.m. to do a load of laundry with more vomit on it than a frat house floor. Nor have they tried to cook dinner with a screaming baby in their arms, a toddler doing cartwheels off the couch, and the phone ringing. It usually goes something like this: “I’d never let my kids watch TV before they turn three,” or “I would never raise my voice at my child,” or “My toddler won’t ever eat sweets.” Uh huh, and I said I’d never own a minivan. You have this great picture of the kind of parent you want to be, and how picturesque your family will become. You try to live up to that vision, but you also have to survive. So, snickering at a prospective parent spouting off advice is not only allowed, but encouraged.
Let’s start with pin worms. They are small parasitic worms that live in the human intestinal track. The worms crawl out of the child’s anus at night and lay their eggs in the diaper, pajamas and other areas around the bed or crib. The eggs are then passed to others and ingested unknowingly. The worst part? You have to go in there and grab them while your kid is asleep. It’s a damn horror show. It’s also not something I had any idea about before having kids. Sick kids take a toll on the entire house. Even the typical cold has taken on a whole new meaning, especially with toddlers. It can require being up in the middle of the night for days in a row, missing work and acting as one giant Kleenex. The numerous slug trails across your shirt are always a nice touch.
10) The feeling of unconditional love
You assume that you’re going to love your kids, but what you end up feeling for them is unlike anything else you’ll ever know. Just a simple smile from your offspring can erase a really crappy day at the office. This is the reason why people rave about having kids while they look exhausted and have a fresh batch of spit-up running down their back.
Synopsis: Gloucester, Massachusetts, is home to a swordfishing boat called the Andrea Gail, captained by Billy Tyne (Clooney), a veteran fisherman who has had a run of disappointing catches. It docks beside the Hannah Boden, captained by Linda... Gloucester, Massachusetts, is home to a swordfishing boat called the Andrea Gail, captained by Billy Tyne (Clooney), a veteran fisherman who has had a run of disappointing catches. It docks beside the Hannah Boden, captained by Linda Greenlaw (Mastrantonio), who has been hugely successful with recent hauls.
Bobby Shatford (Wahlberg) has a divorce lawyer to pay off and a new life to build with his girlfriend, Christina "Chris" Cotter (Lane). Fishing is the only job he knows that will pay the kind of money he needs. So, against Chris' wishes, he's going to sign on again with Billy for one last trip this season.
Billy Tyne and Bobby are joined on the trip by Dale "Murph" Murphy (John C. Reilly), a seasoned crewmember trying to support his estranged wife and child; Alfred Pierre (Allen Payne), a free-spirited Jamaican who has a way with women; Bugsy (John Hawkes), a friendly local who just wants someone to come home to; and last-minute replacement Sully (William Fichtner), who shares a volatile relationship with Murph.
Tyne is convinced that he can change his run of bad luck by going beyond the normal reach of New England fishing boats to the Flemish Cap, a remote area known for its rich fishing prospects. Once out at sea, he hears about the storm building offshore. But unlike Greenlaw, who determines to play it safe, Billy thinks he can beat the storm back to Gloucester, taking an enormous catch with him. If he doesn't try, his crew will come away empty-handed on this last trip of the season. It is nothing out of the ordinary for fishermen to wager their lives against their livelihoods.
What is out of the ordinary is the disturbing weather pattern that emerges once the Andrea Gail is out to sea. Local TV weatherman Todd Gross (CHRIS McDONALD) tells his viewers it begins with Hurricane Grace, a powerful southern storm front heading up the Atlantic. Grace is on a collision course with two other weather fronts that are rapidly gathering strength. When the three meet, there will be a storm more terrifying than anyone has imagined, greater than any that has ever been recorded in modern history.
It will come to be called "The No-Name Storm" or "The Halloween Storm," coming as it does on that legendarily fearsome night. In fact, it will form with such suddenness that the National Weather Bureau doesn't have time to call it anything. They barely have time to send out a warning to all vessels at sea.
The crew of the Andrea Gail never receives that warning. They have no forewarning of what is about to hit them.
While the Andrea Gail and other vessels caught at sea struggle to make their way back to shore, another set of personnel carriers are following a course directly into the storm. These are the courageous Air Force and Coast Guard airplane, helicopter and cutter rescue teams who are fully and frighteningly aware of what they are up against.